NLU Feature piece by contributor Tim Collarmore:

Sports journalism is chock full of cliché hot takes and retread narrative crafting. One such cliché involves arguing whether “player x” or “coach y” is good or bad for the sport in question. Usually, this narrative is saved for an individual that fits one (or more) of a particular set of criteria: young, dominant, eccentric, or unconventional. Golf, a sport in which as of a few years ago wearing bright orange was relatively as noteworthy as dressing like Dennis Rodman, is particularly guilty of reinforcing the “good or bad for the game” narrative amongst its think-tank of journalists. To be fair, it’s really hard to come up with original insights or narratives in the age of instant data and over-analysis.

It’s especially true in golf, a sport in which the establishment is perceived as being the Stuffy Old Guys Illuminati and the game itself is misunderstood. Golf journalism is tiredly aimed at the stereotypical “traditional golf fan” who reads Golf Digest to pick up new swing tips with zero functional utility, get aroused by images of new equipment and by the always embarrassingly misogynistic “hottest women in golf” issue, and peruse the same old boring puff pieces. Put more plainly, golf lends itself to low-hanging-fruit analysis and commentary due to the size and makeup of its perceived target audience. I say “perceived” because I don’t think this is reality.

At the same time, the majority of our society feels the same way about watching golf as it does about going to the symphony. There’s a distant appreciation of the skill required to control the little white ball, but there’s still a consensus that it’s far too boring to be interesting. In turn, golf fans tend to overcompensate by feeling the need to justify their fandom of the game. Trying to convince your college-age friends that watching the PGA Tour on Sundays is a worthwhile endeavor is basically like trying to convince vegans that a ribeye is better than a filet. They’ve already made up their mind and will never experience what you’re describing, so what’s the point?

As weird as I feel when I become evangelical about my golf fandom, I can’t help it. Golf produces more organic drama than any other sport in the world! Its players are more accessible, visible, and relatable to an average person than any other professional sport! And it’s a game that constitutes an absolute meritocracy, free of nepotism, politics, free agency, and all of the disgusting aspects of every other pro sport. Aside from sponsorships, there are no contracts and there is no grey area; a golfer earns what he objectively deserves. What’s not to love?

So when an exciting new golfer with remotely unique characteristics comes along, every journalist understandably pounces on the opportunity to whip out a quill and make a keen observation. One of the most typical observations is whether this new golfer will be good or bad for the sport. Rickie Fowler, who burst on the scene with long hair, flat-brimmed hats, and bright colors, is an obvious case study of such narrative crafting. Even years after his emergence we’re still subjected to the same themes. 

You can basically boil the common themes down to “this guy is young and flashy and has some game and will be good for golf because he will attract a new viewership.” First of all, it’s pointless to try to assess whether a golfer will be good or bad for the game. It’s a lazy narrative based on obvious assumptions that are neither here nor there. What does it even mean to be “good” for golf?

That’s logical fallacy number two. If Rickie Fowler is able to increase the breadth of golf’s viewership by drawing in people who otherwise wouldn’t have watched golf, who is it benefiting? Perhaps it’s the players on tour. The players are arguably who benefited the most from the Tiger era as purses ballooned exponentially in the matter of a decade. Maybe that’s still the case, although there’s no guarantee that increases in ticket sales or TV revenue would increase purse sizes.

In all likelihood, it would be the PGA Tour itself and corporate America (ie, Puma or Under Armour) who benefit and stuff their pockets with cash. But for the rest of us humble viewers? I could probably argue the opposite; that currently the PGA Tour is one of the last bastions of being relatively free of the irritating hype surrounding the NFL or NBA (as much as I love both of them). An even more disastrous consequence of expanded viewership is if more people actually go out and play the game, making my slog around the local muni take even longer because some guy wearing jeans in the group ahead of me is taking 2 minutes to read and 8 footer.

The third logical fallacy surrounding this argument is assuming that just because Rickie’s emergence is coupled with more and more people wearing orange in the gallery, the game is reaching a new audience. It’s quite possible that the only people who care about Rickie Fowler are already golf fans. I have zero data to back this claim up other than to question whether Fowler, Spieth, Day, and McIlroy are resonating strongly with anyone who isn’t already a golf fan. My anecdotal experience says that if this is happening, it’s most likely Speith who is drawing people in, but I’m still dubious that this is happening at all.

This brings us to Bryson DeChambeau. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s the most interesting player to hit the PGA landscape in the last few decades. He is the perfect storm of talent, youth, polish, style, quirkiness, intelligence, cockiness, and exuberance. He’s an amalgamation of Phil’s swagger, Furyk’s homemade technical individuality, Boo Weekley’s outspokenness, Bubba’s emotional volatility, and Spieth’s appreciation for golf history. If his career were to fizzle after one impressive professional start, he would still be noteworthy for being golf’s equivalent of the Dos Equis guy.

Cats like Bryson DeChambeau don’t find their way to the tour very often. As such, he will be extremely polarizing. There will be those who can’t stand his swagger. There will be those who don’t understand him and scoff at not being able to put him in a box. When he misses his first cut, the doubters and haters will write about how much this young man has to learn and how much better he might be if he carried himself like Tom Watson, Tom Lehman, Tom Kite, or any of the other guys named Tom who played on the tour and were conventional gentlemen. When he gets his first win, the supporters will start talking about him winning more majors than Jack and possibly curing cancer in his free time. The gallery will start filling up with people wearing “cabbie” hats and you’ll undoubtedly have a co-worker who won’t shut up about how he’s ordering clubs of all the same length.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with these narratives. Sports are meant to be fun and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It’s encouraging that recent years have seen the emergence of writers who bring fresh insight, analysis, and, most importantly, a sense of humor to golf journalism. A good journalist can heighten the joy of watching the game. It’s a breath of fresh air from the tired narrative crafting that has effectively superseded and detracted from the fantastic drama taking place on the course. Never has there been more top-to-bottom talent on the PGA Tour. Never has the coverage been better (except when it’s on CBS). Never have we needed artificial storylines less. It’s human to label things in order to understand what we see with our eyes. We have to talk about Sergio being a choke artist because there’s no other way we can wrap our head around why he hasn’t won more tournaments and is winless in majors.

There’s fun in finding the stories, but let’s also remember that every Sunday there’s drama and amazing golf to witness regardless of who ends up winning the tournament or how it happened. I know I sound like the “leave Britney alone” girl right now, and believe me when I say I’m crying to myself as I write this, so I’ll step down from my soapbox now. Let’s all enjoy ourselves out there.

What Does "Good for the Game" Even Mean?

Televising golf is inherently difficult. Eighteen new holes every week spread out over 150ish acres, each its own veritable arena with evolving weather conditions, variable topography, and different sunlight orientation. There’s a technology element – dozens of cameras and microphones, miles of cabling, satellite trucks, elevated mini-studios spread out across the course, graphics packages – a nerve system serving up dozens of feeds into a nerve center with a lead producer calling the shots. There’s a people element – a different tournament director, charity and corporate title sponsor at each stop, all of whom require back scratching. I’d imagine the most challenging part is the competition itself. 150 players, scattered about. All said, it’s a lot to handle and I don’t pretend to be an expert or intend to be an armchair quarterback. But at this point the entire golf world is simultaneously realizing that CBS golf telecasts have devolved into unmitigated dogshit over the last two seasons.

The history of golf on CBS is probably worthy of it’s own book, but here’s a quick synopsis. In the late ‘50s and early ‘60s the PGA Tour was still a relatively nascent traveling roadshow and needed stars. Frank Chirkinian, aka “The Ayatollah,” became the executive producer for CBS’ telecasts, identifying and oftentimes creating those stars. CBS was the gatekeeper, deciding which players fans saw and what the narrative was. Meanwhile fans knew most of what they knew about professional golfers from the weekend telecasts. Chirkinian led 

 from 1959 to 1996 and by all accounts he was brilliant (his cameo in Tin Cup was insightful). The guy was a pioneer; blimp shots, microphones scattered around the course, diverse camera angles, a propensity for showing as many golf shots as possible, the blueprint for the televised masterpiece that is The Masters – that was all Chirkinian. Most importantly, he understood this: 

“Bob Jones once told me, ‘Frank, the more golf you show, the better your product is.”

 CBS had a responsibility to the game, and under Chirkininan’s leadership they lived up to the task. He retired in 1996 and longtime CBS employee Lance Barrow took the reins at the auspicious outset of the 1997 season. Barrow cut his teeth as executive producer during the halcyon days of the Big Cat Era. Tiger was the narrative, the messiah (insert hilarious Earl clip), the second most famous athlete on the planet after MJ. With ratings skyrocketing, the demographic skewing younger and younger, and Corporate America jonesing for a piece of the action, all Barrow had to do was focus on Tiger (the rest of the field be damned), keep the telecasts between the mayonnaise and the mustard, and not piss off the members at August National.

The warning signs began manifesting themselves a few years ago when Big Cat missed The Masters for the first time and the telecast seemed a little lost. The rest of the season suffered with Cat fighting injuries and eventually shutting it down. The issues escalated during the West Coast Swing in 2015 – with a steadfast refusal to show up-and-coming stars in the hunt (see: Koepka at Phoenix) and the Pebble Pro-Am unwatchable. Around this same time NBC’s telecasts improved, showing more live golf in stark contrast to CBS whilst mixing in oodles of ProTracer and even some decent feature pieces (

Josh Elliott’s impassioned Mother’s Day monologue at The Players notwithstanding

, even the casual golf fan was disillusioned, and Soly nearly passed out from beating the Koepka drum so hard.

Koepka shoots 66, sits at T6. Literally 4 shots shown, and not one of them live. And they literally just called him "one to watch"!



— No Laying Up (@NoLayingUp) 

If you look closely in the background you can see world number 1 charging 

Any hope that CBS would heed some of the criticism, take a look in the mirror and make the requisite changes for the 2016 season was quickly dashed when they butchered coverage of Torrey Pines. The next week saw a respite with NBC taking over duties while CBS was busy getting crushed for crappy Super Bowl coverage. CBS took over again for the annual atrocity at Pebble Beach. That telecast is perennially the worst on the entire schedule – B-list celebs, to the 2:30-3 coverage gap hitting three of the most famous holes in the world, to the lack of actual golf shown (at several points there were more professional golf shots at Pebble shown on the PGA Tour’s twitter account than on CBS). It’s essentially a B-list celebrity orgy. This sums it up:





— Nick WanderscheidPGA (@NWander1) 

Which brings us to Riviera for one of the BSD tourneys on the schedule, being played in the midst of a vitriolic Twitter mob converging on CBS. Figured this was a good opportunity to take a closer look at yesterday’s coverage of the Northern Trust Open to see if the frustration is warranted or if this is all overblown. Here’s something to consider as we dive into the 175 minute telecast: CBS presented 184 live or semi-live golf shots, between 90 and 95 commercials (depending upon your local affiliate), and a mind-numbing amount of fluff in between. I don’t pretend to know how these commercial metrics measure up with a typical NBC telecast, but the fact that we’ve never really noticed suggests that’s not an issue on the Peacock. I do know that 184 shots is not a lot, AT ALL. Also, if these issues were new I’d be inclined to give CBS a pass. But the reality is that these trends have always been present, and people haven’t wised up until now because we’ve just gotten used to it. CBS with the long con!

Some ground rules for how I tallied everything:

I was generous, considering everything outside of 1-foot tap-in a “golf shot.”

The slow-mo “SwingVision” stuff doesn’t count as a shot.

Jim Nantz rattling off sponsors after commercial breaks count toward commercial time, but not commercials. Same deal with shots of the “MetLife Snoopy Two” blimp

2:30pm – Golf Channel coverage ceases and the dreaded coverage gap starts. Ostensibly the thirty minute gap is to allow the production crew to switch over to the CBS graphics package. Whatever, it’s 2016. Figure it out.

3:00pm – CBS coverage is slated to start, but as happens every week a terrible college basketball game is running over the allotted time. At 3pm there is 2:22 left in the game and the score is 92-62. Not even a degenerate gambler would’ve been interested. We’re told that coverage is available on PGATour.com.

3:05pm – The basketball mercifully ends. We’re in the clear. Actually, nope. CBS runs NINE commercials and then we’re treated to a CBS Sports Desk. Thanks for the scores guys, I don’t have the internet.

3:10pm – After five wasted minutes, golf coverage starts, sort of. We’re treated to four and a half minutes of golf during which eight live(ish) shots are shown. By this time every group has played 10. Nantz makes sure to mention that 10 is one of the best holes on tour, and he’s right. But then they proceed to not show Bubba’s tee shot on said hole. In all, we see just four tee shots on 10.

Next we get the typical intro montage package, then one Adam Scott putt, then Nantz does the “Hello friends” routine (he actually “Hello friends the viewers at home and then greets Faldo with a “Hello friend” – crazy double dip!). At this point we’re essentially 13 minutes deep into coverage and have witnessed nine shots, six of which were putts. Imagine tuning into any other sport and missing pivotal live action due to sponsor promos, self-serving commentary and highlights of stuff that we missed. What glorious madness!

3:18pm – Interspersed with a 22 second Gary McCord critique of Chez Reavie’s technique for cleaning out his golf spikes we’re afforded sixteen minutes of live coverage and 24 shots. Now we’re cooking, maybe CBS heard our desperate pleas! At one point they show a clip from earlier in the week of the players hitting shots with clubs from different eras (persimmon woods, etc.). Missed opportunity to show how far they’re hitting them, maybe get some quick feedback from the guys on how the clubs felt. Instead we just get cliche fluff.

After that nice burst of golf we’re treated to five commercial breaks spanning fourteen and a half minutes (totaling 30 commercials) with just fourteen and a half minutes of golf coverage mixed in (featuring 23 shots). But hey, I am getting a freaking education on the epic side effects of OPDIVO, which treats something called squamous non small cell cancer which I’d never heard of until the 2016 PGA Tour season. According to the commercials, “OPDIVO can cause your immune system to attack normal organs and tissues in many areas of your body and can affect the way they work. These problems can sometimes become serious or life-threatening and can lead to death” among a multitude of other side effects (

) I’m starting to think CBS golf coverage carries similar risks.

After 29 minutes of hell, the broadcast team realizes they’re losing the locker room and we get 23.5 minutes of golf (37 shots) with just one commercial break in between. Thank you! And kudos to the broadcast team for an expansive discussion of “sticky grass” (I’m being serious, that was good stuff). Seeing quite a few Farmers Insurance commercials – I sense a golden sponsorship opportunity insuring Ted Scott “against almost anything, since they’ve seen almost everything.”

Will it continue? Nope. Time to pay the piper with a 31 minute span offering up 15 minutes of commercials (six breaks plus a de facto break with Nantz pimping a promo for Sunday rodeo coverage and then rubbing the Michigan/Maryland basketball game in our faces…you know, the one that is guaranteed to delay Sunday golf) and 16.5 minutes of golf. 29 commercials, 34 shots. Incredible. Coverage wouldn’t be complete with 10-20 seconds of music fading in and out of commercial breaks, with some prime long shots of sailboats, the Santa Monica pier, etc. Gotta establish those SoCal #vibes though.

It’s now just after 5pm and the leaders are in the thick of competition. Lance Barrow decides we’ve earned a nice 20 minute stretch featuring 18 minutes of golf (32 shots) and just 2.5 minutes of commercials. Rory buries a putt and we have the first real drama of the day. The crowd is into it. We’re treated to leaderboards/music at every turn. No reason to present this info in a box in a corner of the screen when you can cut away from the action, take up the entire screen, and play some music. It’s a no-brainer!

Fun’s over. As we enter what should be the meat of the golf (5:20pm-ish) we get about 18 minutes of golf (25 shots), 6 minutes of commercials (12 ads), 1 minute of a CBS News Update, a 2 minute charity interview with Amy Alcott. At this point, I’m watching on mute because I simply can’t handle the music anymore. Lance Barrow and the squad need to go to rehab for how addicted they are to the smooth composition of Helmut von Lichten. They use it at every opportunity, sometimes just to fake us out and think they’re going to go to commercial break when they’re really not. It’s mind-numbing. And the Taylor Made commercial being foisted upon us are actually already outdated, as they’ve already released four new drivers since they filmed this spot, including the new M6. By the way, crazy good up and downs by Bubba and DJ on 18.

The final group ambles up to the 18th green and finishes seven minutes early at 5:53pm. CBS uses the extra time to show 4 and a half minutes of commercials (including Nantz pimping the PBR Rodeo series “Bucking Battle” and rubbing tomorrow’s basketball game that will run beyond 3pm right in our faces) and 90 seconds of Nantz and Faldo yucking it up (although a nice shout-out to former colleague Peter Oosterhuis who is 

missed during coverage). Somehow they only conduct one post-round interview, and that “interview” was only one question posed to Bubba. Who needs Feherty when Dottie’s really providing the goods (to be fair I did appreciate her college golf feature near the start of coverage).

A few issues with regard to technology: No effort made to show the design of the golf course. Flyovers, explanations, some way to show elevation changes, nothing. NBC often uses technology to show the slopes of each green (and does so without interrupting the action) – would be a cool feature on a classic course like this with, ya know, severe greens. Also very limited use of ProTracer. I get the sense that they’re on a budget and skimping hard. All of this is particularly ironic considering 

Don’t recall hearing any caddie-player convos. Shame.

At least half the top twenty players on the leaderboard did not have a single shot shown on television.

It’s unbelievable how many PGA Tour produced commercials there are. We’re already watching your tournament, let the action speak for itself instead of putting together some splashy commercial that everyone resents after the third or fourth week of it airing.

I’m convinced at least 20% of the shots are canned, most of which aren’t mentioned as such.

I enjoy Peter Kostis – I get the sense that he knows the coverage is crap and is more or less stuck. That’s probably true for a lot of people working on the telecast,t; professionals who follow orders.

Frank Chirkinian passed away in 2011 at 84 years old. His 

“I showed lots and lots of golfers and lots and lots of golf shots,” he told Sports Illustrated in 1995, “and I try never to subordinate the event to my ego. When I die, I want my epitaph to read, ‘He stayed out of the way.’

Quit pissing on his legacy with each passing week.

Eye on CBS (an intervention)

Before he was euthanized, I would lament that the PGA Tour season used to have two beginnings: the Hyundai Tournament of Champions, and whatever week Big Cat first showed up. Sure the season was officially underway, but it didn’t feel like it 

 started until He showed up. Now with the fall series, and the fact that the large feline is holed up playing Call of Duty under an alias, the rollout of the PGA Tour season looks more like an intro to a GOP debate than it does a grand opening. It’s not on the same aforementioned Tiger level, but this week, I find myself legitimately giddy about Rory’s U.S. debut for the 2016 season. The tournament hasn’t even started yet, and he’s already won the week twice:

I really wanted to say "suck my white ass ball" but they wouldn't let me! 

At times both under appreciated and forgotten in 2015, a rejuvenated Rory has chosen the best possible setting for his arrival. Riviera is the crème de la crème of the West Coast Swing, and the class of the field this year matches the glorious setting in the Pacific Palisades. Man, just saying “Pacific Palisades” gets me halfway there! A palisade is defined as “a fence of wooden stakes or iron railings fixed in the ground, forming an enclosure or defence,” which is fitting because Riviera screams exclusivity, and “invite only.”

Everything about this week just oozes class. Gone is the over saturated, forced, corporate stench of the Pebble Beach Pro-Am, and in comes a great test of golf in a tournament that prides itself on being about the actual golf. Hogan’s Alley is perhaps the most universally loved course that we see every year on the tour, and you need a certified sommelier to properly describe the graceful aging process for this So Cal masterpiece. Prep thyself for a four-day ball striking blowout on a top shelf course accompanied by choice visuals (gallery, blimp shots, weather, etc.).

Riviera is dope. Period. Point blank. I had a chance to play it unexpectedly in 2008, and I haven’t shut up about it since. George C. Thomas designed Riviera (par 35-36-71), which opened in 1927. A ballstriker’s paradise, Riv ranked 

 in a 2012 poll of PGA Pros’ favorite courses (trailing only Augusta National and Harbor Town). As with most well-aged tracks, accuracy off the tee is of utmost importance, as is the ability to work the ball both ways (obviously a boon to Gerry Watson). Just listen to what some of the pros are already saying about it:

Never gets old coming to Riviera. Truly one of the best courses/tests ever made



— Justin Thomas (@JustinThomas34) 

Riviera this week.. In my top 5 courses I've ever played



— Jordan Spieth (@JordanSpieth) 

The day begins with a downhill, 505 yard par-5, which always plays as one of the easiest holes on Tour, easing competitors into the challenge that awaits them. Another example of “par” being irrelevant.

View off the box of #1 (photo courtesy of NorthernTrustOpen.com)

The rest of the opening nine is a collection of 400+ yard par-4’s (the shortest measuring 408 yards, longest 471 yards) along with a couple stretched out par-3’s (199 yards and 236 yards, respectively). There are no signature holes, necessarily, but each will call for shot-making, a certain amount of creativity, and an ability to properly wield every club in the bag (motifs which carry over to the second nine).

Golf.com’s 6th best hole in the United States

, the driveable 10th that measures just 310 yards. Jack Nicklaus noted this hole has more options than any short hole in the world. Expect to see #10 heavily-featured on the telecast (deservedly), but don’t expect many drives to hit the green.

On Sunday, especially, when they cut the hole on the far right portion (from the players’ vantage point), and given the slope of the green and bunkering surrounding it, it’ll be a challenge to get near the hole with a wedge after laying up, let alone with the Big Dog from the box. Nantz and Sir Nick will be quick to point out, repeatedly, that although a tiny par-4, bogey is always in play on #10, no matter if guys go conservative off the tee or not. In general, we give guys a pass on not trying to take on this green from the tee, because it’s far from a no brainer, and the chances of a ball staying on the surface are quite minimal. In all, it’s as good a hole as advertised, and a ton of fun to watch.

View of #10 green. Sunday flag will be cut just over right side of the right-hand bunker in background. (Photo courtesy of NorthernTrustOpen.com)

After #10, guys get a grown-up par-5 (the first of two on this side) measuring 583 yards. Then it’s a few more 400+ yard par-4’s with another mid-to-long iron par-3 (#14, measuring 192 yards) thrown in. The finishing trio of holes is mega-solid. A diverse mix, it offers bit of everything for both players and viewers.

Sixteen is a relatively short par-3 at 166 yards and gives guys an opportunity to stuff the pinata with a well-struck short iron. Seventeen is a cavernous, uphill par-5 that measures nearly six-hundo. There’s a chance some big sticks get home in two this week, but overall eagles will be pretty rare (unfortunately). It is a prime chance to trap some more common feathered flyers, though. There’s a good chance the board will be bunched Sunday, and seventeen will be the last best chance to make birdie before the daunting eighteenth.

The finishing hole is among the most famous in golf. It’s a very challenging 475 yard par-4 which plays uphill, a bit left-to-right, and with a green that is hilariously in-conducive to holding the requisite long-irons into it. The upper left side of the hole is framed by 

, and the putting surface is tucked in at the base of a hill with the iconic Riv clubhouse looming bossily in the background. The natural amphitheater gathers huge crowds and for good reason: there is usually serious Sunday drama unfolding just below.

View of #18 green. (Photo courtesy NorthernTrustOpen.com)

Freddie Couples is widely known to have a love affair with Riv

, a fact that underscores and reinforces her sexiness (as if she needs such legitimizing). Count on her to again separate the ballstriking wheat from the chaff, yielding an ultra-glitzy board come the weekend.

Gone are the pornographic ocean views that frame Pebble Beach and Torrey Pines, and absent are the boisterous galleries that define TPC Scottsdale, but don’t you dare go feeling sorry for the Northern Trust Open. At minimum, this is a top three non-major event. The vibe is mostly ‘California-cool,’ which means laid back and genial with still a hint of LA phoniness and self-aggrandizement sprinkled in. So make yourself a nice drink, don your most festive party attire, and smoke ’em if you got ’em–this is the class of the West Coast Swing.

A comedy of errors led us to 3 man playoff where James Hahn edged Dustin Johnson and Paul Casey by nailing a 23 foot birdie putt on the third playoff hole. Preceding that, Sergio bogeyed the last two holes to miss out by a shot, Spieth missed a six foot par putt on the 72nd hole that would have put him in the playoff, Casey bogeyed 18 with the chance to win outright, and DJ bogeyed the par-5 17th with wedge in his hand on his third shot.

We wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t mention Weir won this tournament. Twice. Back-to-back. ’03-’04 were dark, dark times, man.

This was the site of Nick Faldo’s last career win (1997). He was never the same after getting paired with Tiger in rounds 1 and 2 of the 1997 Masters and watching that massacre up close and personal.

Riv boasts a hilarious roster of former champs: Len Mattiace in ’02, Kirk Triplett in ’00, Pavin ’94 & ’95, Walrus 1.0 ’96, Mayfair ’98 (beat Eldrick in playoff), and TC Chen in ’87.

Of course we have to discuss the 6-man playoff in 2001 where Robert Allenby beat Toshi Izawa(!), Brandel Chamblee (couldn’t quite slay the dragon), Bob Tway, Jeff Sluman (Paychex, y’all), and Dennis Paulson.

Some memorable moments from previous years, including Tiger’s PGA Tour debut, his playoff with Billy Mayfair, and more:

– It’s painful to do, but at a course he likes, his odds should not be that high. Winner in 2014.

T3 at Scottsdale, and he’s got a top 10 in the bag here at Riviera.

It’s as ugly as you could imagine, but he comes in here smoking hot with top-5 finishes in three of his last four starts. Add in a top-5 finish here in 2013, and he’s worth a play at these odds.

This is basically the end of Chucky Triple Sticks season, so I’ll waste one more unit as sort of a “pour one out for the homie” measure.

Top 20’s in five of his seven starts this season. He’s 5th on tour in strokes gained tee to green, and this course rewards ball striking.

Matsuyama has a strong history here, as do Spieth, Schwartzel, Sergio, and Walker. Rory will also be in my lineup.

Re-familiarize yourself with Kikuyu Grass – also known as Pennisetum Clandestinum (Latin for clandestine penis?) – as Ian Baker Finch will mention it ad nauseum during the telecast whilst . It’s essentially a sticky, inexpensive, drought-resistant weed native to East Africa, but thriving in SoCal. Not shockingly, it’s been known to cause paranoia around the greens.

Tron went on an epic anti-CBS rant on Saturday, 

which Adam Sarson put in a storify for you to read

. It’s starting to be beaten to death, but I think it’s entirely necessary for actual changes to be made. After reading this 

, and the interview with producer Lance Barrow, I’m not holding out any hope for change. As Tron said, they just don’t get it. Like, not even at a little bit. The vanity of the irrelevant bits, self-serving dialogue, and cringe inducing narrative driving has reached a level that would inspire Patrick Reed, and viewers have had enough. A year ago at this event, Jordan Spieth wasn’t shown live until the 17th hole, and the guy made 5 on the 18th hole to miss the playoff by a single shot! The negligence level they’ve obtained borders on malpractice, and we’re going to be stuck with it for the foreseeable future (or until somebody actually checks the mentions on the @GolfonCBS account).

Here’s a primer on the LA private golf scene

 (although this article somehow left LA Country Club off?). The fact that the USGA refuses to hold an Open at Riviera is ridiculous. I’m already excited for the 2023 US Open at LA Country Club. West Coast US Opens are the best – primetime spectacles that should be ratings bonanzas. Can’t understand why the USGA doesn’t get out here more often. Links mag published an 

instructive comparison of the two courses

I’m kicking myself for scheduling a trip on the weekend of the Northern Trust rather than the AT&T, but I’ll be doing a Band of Brothers tour in Bastogne, Belgium this weekend. Easy Company did not lay up, and I’m pumped to see the scenes of the Battle of the Bulge. If you’re not familiar with the story, 

 for cheeky commentary before, during, and after the broadcast. Cheers.

2016 Northern Trust Open Preview

Rickie Fowler is seated at a round table, feet perched up over the table top as he leans back in his chair, wondering aloud into a snapchat filter why he’s been called into this super secret meeting in the banquet room at The Woods Jupiter. The details on the e-vite were vague, and the title of “Scared Straight” has made him wonder if Tiger’s going to play clips of his 2015 season. He’s joined by the entire new Nike Golf gang, fresh off their Monday evening rollout of their sponsor’s new fashion line:

Today Nike launched the new apparel and footwear line for the year. IT IS AWESOME. 





— Tony Finau Golf (@tonyfinaugolf) 

“This better not be a task force meeting,” says Fowler.

“What are we even doing here, man?” quips Scott Pinckney.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” says Tony Finau.

Just as the crew was beginning to get restless, a large feline wearing a suspiciously tight short sleeve mock turtleneck bursts through the door, and violently smacks Fowler’s hi-tops off the desk.

“Boy, get yo DAMN feet off my desk! We about to find out how how tough you really are!” yells the Big Cat as he gets in Fowler’s face.

The entrance is met mostly with eye rolls as the youngsters barely look up from their phones. Tiger turns his attention to Brooks Koepka, and grabs him by the shirt.”

“You see this right here!? You see this?? DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M WEARING?! This is a SHORT SLEEVE mock turtleneck!! I actually tried to push these!! I won a mother f*#$king GREEN Jacket in one of these!! You think this is a game!?!? I can’t even frame a picture of the ’05 Masters!! Look at this shirt!! It’s only functional purpose is to cover up a hickey!! And they tried to sell these things for $90 a pop!!”

The mood of the room starts to change, as “the fear” becomes palpable. But Koepka’s not ready to back down.

“How are we supposed to learn fashion from you? Don’t you still wear cargo shorts?”

“Yeah, and those jeans!” pipes Patrick Rodgers from the back.

“Oh so you think you grown!? You think you got the whole game figured out!? You think it’s just me?! We’ve ALL been there. This ain’t no game, Patty. Brooksy. This is real f*&^king life!”

“He’s right!” booms a voice as the hinges come off a side door on the opposite side of the room. In strides the 45 year old left hander like a buoyant Vince McMahon, rocking the same skin tight mock turtleneck that the Cat is wearing.

The room is a balmy 75 degrees, but Phil’s nipples still somehow poke Jamie Lovemark in the back of the neck as he tries to squeeze through to come to Tiger’s side.

“I thought this was a good idea at the time! But look at me now! How f*&#king dumb do I look!?”

“Chill man, we’re not wearing mock turtlenecks. They’re just joggers, they’re coo-” interjects an uninspired Fowler, only to be interrupted by another bold entrance.

“OH YOU THINK IT’S JUST THE TURTLENECKS!?” declares Jim Furyk as he appears in his mid-2000’s button up short sleeve shirt.

“I thought I looked cool! Turns out I looked like a dad who was still wearing Hawaiian shirts two months after his vacation, except his wife made him tuck it in for a family picture!” yells the Five Hour Energy spokesman.

Furyk gets down on a knee to roast Fowler.

“Where’s the flood!?!? Huh?!? Where’s the water!?!? I ain’t tryin to see your ankles!!!”

“Look, we been there. You don’t wanna make the same mistakes we made. There ain’t no coming back from this. Remember the pleated pants?” says Tiger.

“How do I explain to my kids why I wore a shirt that shows off the exact depth of my belly button!?” yells Phil.

“His kids Evan, Sophia, and Amanda, and his wife Amy,” says Jim Nantz as he climbs in through the window wearing this tie:

“You think I like wearing a tie that looks like a clown that went through a paper shredder!? Freddie defriended me on Facebook because I had this as my profile pic. Speaking of clowns, let’s bring in our next guest,” demands Nantz, looking at a camera that doesn’t exist.

“LOOK AT THESE PANTS!! YOU THINK THESE ARE COOL!?!?”

“Ian you wore those yesterd-” Koepka says.

“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN I’M TALKING!!”

“Yeah those are currently on sale on your webs-” says Rodgers.

“OK, OK, maybe he’s not the best example of someone that has learned from past mistakes,” says Phil as he physically removes Poulter from the room.

“Rickie, every kid in the world tries to dress like you. And you Nike guys, this is my brand I’m tryin to protect! Let this be a lesson to you! You’ve been….,” Tiger pauses as he pulls his shades from his tight turtleneck collar.

“Scared straight. Now get outta my restaurant. I gotta talk to Spieth about his belts.”

Scared Straight: A Lesson From the Ghosts of Mock Turtlenecks Past

Picking PGA Tour players to root for isn’t necessarily an easy task. Major golf publications really only cover about 10 different players, so it’s hard to become familiar with the deeper cut players if you’re what I would call an “Easter and Christmas churchgoer” who only tunes in to golf during the majors. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. This is a judge free zone where all are welcome to share in a joint celebration of the game of golf. Because I’m a charitable guy who is short on productive hobbies, I’ve decided to do the legwork for you in finding players to root for that will be suited to your personality. This is based on a highly complex algorithm that is frankly too technical to explain here, so just trust the system. My favorite player might be on the opposite end of the political and social spectrum from yours, but we’re all citizens of the same golf universe, and all of our votes count the same.

Transformers 3 is your favorite movie of all time

Your favorite restaurant is Buffalo Wild Wings because you think the commercials are hilarious

Being a Bubba fan requires one of two personality traits: a remarkable ability to separate a golfer’s on-course talent from every other part of his persona, or a BS detector so faulty that it masquerades as willful ignorance. No one can deny Bubba’s robust game. He can be flat out thrilling to watch when he isn’t throwing Veruca Salt-level temper tantrums or sandbagging his way around the course on days when he doesn’t have his “A” game. Like Transformers 3, Bubba delivers stylized visuals with his pink driver, gigantic $500,000 white wrist watch (that thing must be CGI), and 350 yard bombs. However, behind the impressive display is a persona emptier than a champagne bottle handled by Anthony Kim. Off the course, he’s a walking example of cognitive dissonance. He pretends to be a fun-loving man of the people who wears shirtless overalls in parody music videos and constantly references his humble upbringing. We get it Bubba, you’re from Bagdad, Florida. We might be cooler with you mentioning that fact every 10 minutes if you were from Baghdad, Iraq – now THAT would be a story. If that was the case, Operation Iraqi Freedom would have actually been worth it if it meant ending his oppressive regime.

At the same time, Gerry’s the same guy who refused to participate in the long drive contest at the PGA Championship during a practice round. He also does things like 

. I’m not in the business of throwing out harsh judgments directed at people I haven’t met (most of the time), but Bubba seems more phony than a Volkswagen emissions test. If your philosophy as a sports fan is to look past the persona and simply enjoy impressive performances, I can’t really fault you for that. Bubba’s your guy. To the rest of you suckers who have fallen for Bubba’s shtick, I feel bad for you because you will probably drop your savings on a life-time supply of Herbalife in the near future.

Your dream vacation destination is Davenport, Iowa

Your favorite Hogwarts House is Hufflepuff

You can tell me about TurboTax’s new features

You are sexually aroused by the dialogue in Big Bang Theory

The most daring thing you’ve ever done was listen to Coldplay’s “A Rush of Blood to the Head” all the way through

Nothing helps you unwind from a long day like listening to John Tesh tickle the ivories

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with any of the bullet points above. People who enjoy living in the slow lane are unfairly lampooned in our society. We should really be directing our mockery at people who inflict actual damage by being jerks or by taking themselves too seriously. Jim Furyk fans, I’ve got your back. Maybe he’s boring to watch, but his talent, self-made swing, and tenacious work-ethic must all be respected. Like Coldplay, he’s made tons of cash in the past couple decades by cranking out boring hits. He’s made over $65 million in his career, which is fewer Chinese Yuan than it was a few weeks ago, but it’s still a boat load of Chinese Yuan. His hesitation to pull the trigger on putts is similar to me considering shooting myself when “Yellow” comes on the jukebox, but don’t let that cloud your judgment. To re-purpose a quote from Hansel in Zoolander, “I would say Jim Furyk is a hero of mine. The golf he’s played over the years…I don’t enjoy watching it, but the fact that he’s playing it, I respect that.”

You are a psychologist or simply a fan of observing human neurosis

You think “Titanic” should have been an hour longer

You pick 10 seeds and below to go to the Final Four in your March Madness bracket every year

Kevin Na’s psychological struggles are well-documented. Anyone who watched him down the stretch of the 2012 Player’s Championship should have deep sympathy for what Kevin Na has had to battle upstairs. Imagine having a severe case of stage fright that’s nationally televised while thousands of people are yelling things at you like “why don’t you pee already you weirdo!” That’s more or less what Na went through in 2012, so it’s hard not to be happy for him during his recent resurgence. Dating back to the 2014 season, Na has five 2nd place finishes, 17 top 10s, has made 49/59 cuts, and has only blinked his eyes 3 times. I’d pay decent money to see him and Keegan Bradley lock eyes in what would be the ultimate wide-eyed staring contest. At any rate, Na is the Juan Pierre of the PGA TOUR in that he’s small in stature and lacking pop, but is uber-consistent and willing to slap an ugly single the opposite way if it’s for the benefit of the team. One drawback to watching Na is his glacial pace of play. We could start a game of Monopoly whenever he tees off his first hole and by the time he’s done, we will have finished Monopoly, Risk, Settlers of Catan, and “The Godfather.” If you’re into rooting for small ball players, underdogs, or redemption tales, and don’t mind watching 5.5 hour rounds of golf, Na is your guy.

You drink multiple Mountain Dew products each day

You routinely wear t-shirts with cutoff sleeves, and/or cutoff jean shorts

You’ve never stepped foot in a Hyundai and you’re upset that I even asked you the question

Wilcox is a bit of a reclamation project who has taken a rocky path to the Tour. On a scale from Lafferty, Daniel to Happy Girlmore, he falls closer to the latter end of the spectrum than the former. Once a junior golf whiz, Wilcox partied his way out of college at UAB and had to pick up the pieces of his life before rediscovering his game. His personality is somewhere between “marches to the beat of his own drum” and “I don’t give an eff what you think.” His most notable accomplishment other than his sneakily solid play last season was pissing off Brendan Steele at the driving range of the 2015 Traveler’s Championship by loudly playing Drake songs while practicing. If anything, we should be thanking Wilcox for exposing Steele as a hardcore Meek Mill fanboy.

Root for Palmer, Kisner, and/or Streb if:

Your favorite movie of 2015 was “Bridge of Spies”

Like yours truly’s favorite movie of 2015, “Bridge of Spies,” these guys are solid, fun to watch, and underrated in most circles (although Kisner might be pricing himself out of this market). They’re the kind of guys that true fans want to list as their favorite players because doing so demonstrates a degree of knowledge about the game. Even though they’re all legitimately fun to watch, calling one of these guys your favorite player is kind of a hipster move. It’s kind of like saying your favorite fruit is the kiwi. It’s defensible in my book, but also definitely not what most people would say. If you appreciate quality but don’t want to be caught rooting for someone too mainstream, these are your guys.

Harold Varner III/Tony Finau/Daniel Berger

Root for Varner, Finau, and/or Berger if:

You were the first of your friends to own an iPhone and you’re damn proud of it

You knew about dabbing before it became played out

These guys are the (slightly) less talked about young guns. NLU has already expressed a deep affinity for Justin Thomas, Brooks Koepka, and the immortal Pat Reed, and I’m not here to argue with those high-caliber choices, even if I think Soly’s man crush on these young Americans borders on being creepier than the Big Cat’s web browser history circa 2008. The three guys above represent the next wave of younger golfers who have Top 10 potential and are just getting their start. Each one of these guys is so explosive that Ted Cruz has already dubbed the trio “The Carpet Bombers.”

Varner (who desperately needs a nickname – I’m proposing HVAC, Harry Triple Twigs, or Varney Rubble as possibilities) more or less plays golf with the mindset of “I’m going to hit driver on every hole and I’ll find a way to play it from there.” I heard he once hit driver off the deck from 150 out just to see if he could make par from wherever he ended up (I just made that up). Varner projects to be like Bobby De Niro in that he will have really high highs and will also throw out some “Dirty Grandpa” and “Meet the Fockers” dud performances. Nevertheless, he should have a bright career.

After jumping around the mini-tour circuit for a few years, Tony Finau finally broke through by earning his Web.com Tour card in 2014 and he launched himself into orbit from there. His first PGA Tour season in 2015 saw him earn a cool $2 million, good enough for a respectable 43rd on the money list, with five top ten’s and at least 1,000 drops of “Finau the phenom” wordplay by PGA Tour broadcasters who self-identify as hilarious. This dude hits it a mile and has a pretty solid all-around game that is currently a bit more polished than Varner’s. He also has two cousins in the NFL (Haloti Ngata and Sione Pouha) and one cousin in the NBA (Jabari Parker), which is neither here nor there but is pretty fascinating. At minimum, his floor is to be a backup tight end on the NLU All-Pigskin team.

Berger has had the most success of this trio so far, with 6 top 10s and two runner up finishes in his Rookie of the Year award winning 2015 season. He’s probably more in line with the Justin Thomas/Brooks Koepka group of higher ranked younger guys based on what he’s already achieved, but I just don’t feel like he’s getting the same buzz and I’m the one making the rules. Berger King should be cranking out whoppers for the next 20 years (I’m so sorry).

If you enjoy following guys from the ground floor to the penthouse or if you enjoy trying to predict the big wave before it comes, these are your guys.

You root for the Cowboys, the Yankees, Duke, or the Lakers

Your favorite member of N’Sync is Justin Timberlake

You wear high tops and joggers on the reg

You’re currently sporting the Macklemore haircut

All three of them are incredible to watch and to be fair, are all much easier to back than the Cowboys or the Yankees because they all seem like nice guys. Just because they’re easy to root for doesn’t make you not a front runner for rooting for them, though. Luckily, front-running is really comfortable in those slim fit joggers you’re wearing.

The number of Camel Bucks in your wallet exceeds the number of actual bucks in your wallet

You’d prefer to see a tour pro throw his bag in a lake out of anger over witnessing a hole in one

These guys are interesting to watch and it’s usually for reasons other than their transcendent golf. Watching Spencer Levin is kind of like watching Kevin Na only way, way darker. His claim to fame is his tendency to rip cigs throughout his round – particularly in pressure packed situations – although he recently cut that habit. He definitely wins the PGA Tour award for “most likely to hit himself in the face with his 9-iron out of anger.” What you see with Levin is what you get, and usually what you see is a fidgety bundle of borderline psychotic emotions. What you see is also what you get with Boo Weekley and Jerry Kelly, who have amassed a cult following on tour by being candid, down to earth guys. If you aren’t about frills and polish, look no further.

And there you have it. The beauty of the PGA Tour is that there’s something for everyone. The players run the gamut of personalities and are much more fun than stereotypes would suggest. Golf may always remain a niche sport for a plethora of reasons, but there is still plenty of fun to be had. Stay tuned for more potential decision trees in the future.

The Definitive Guide to Choosing Your Favorite PGA Tour Pro

The West Coast Swing makes it’s annual stop in Monterey for AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am for a week that mixes some of the best of what the best coast swing has to offer, along with some its worst. This tournament is the gorgeous girl that’s carrying around just enough baggage for you to consider whether or not it’s worth looking past. Like, if she’s really hot, but also has a completely irrational crazy side where out of nowhere she ends up yelling at you in Spanish on a boat in Italy loud enough for 50 strangers to hear? (This oddly specific example is by no means intended to be interpreted as a personal example.)

The Pebble Beach Pro-Am gives you views and beauty that go unmatched on the PGA Tour, yet is weighed down by an outdated format that makes the pace and the broadcast intolerable. It’s the golf equivalent of the Hot/Crazy scale. Is it sexy enough to get away with the awful setup?

Myself, I can’t decide if I like this tournament or if I don’t. On one hand, you can look at the top of the field, and picture a dramatic Sunday finish on one of the most famous and scenic holes in the history of golf and picture this being one of the best annual stops of the year. Yet our memories of this event are clouded by marine layer of bad weather, Chris Berman, and an overdose of Bill Murray. At times, you can’t look away, and at times it’s unbearable to watch. Is it a rabbit or is it a duck?

With the limited sunlight this time of year, two tees and a minimum of two courses are a necessity for the first two rounds (if you don’t want to limit the size of the field, like they do in Scottsdale). When amateurs are added to the mix, you’re obligated to add a third course just to logistically fit everyone on the tee sheet. This means a Saturday cut, amateurs playing along side professionals vying for a title on Sunday (!), and a lack of overall rhythm to the entire week. This setup is a mess compared to Torrey Pines, where you mix in an easier course for one of the first two rounds, but the championship is decided on the difficult one over the course of the weekend. It’s sloppy, overhyped, and outdated. Maybe this guy really is perfect for this week:

Ever heard of it? Widely known as (at minimum) one of the five best golf courses in the world, Pebble has played host to this tournament since 1947, as well as five U.S. Opens through the years. Measuring 6,816 yards, it’s the shortest track in the PGA Tour rotation and actually plays the easiest (in relation to par) of the three courses in the rota this week.

Get your picture in front of the ocean out of the way pre-round because there are birdies to be had from the get-go. The first eight holes are way gettable with two reachable par-5’s, as well as a potentially (depending on prevailing winds) driveable par-4 (#4). Holes 9 and 10 are brutal par-4’s along the ocean that can be really awkward for righties. Once the course routes inland, holes 11 through 16 are, relatively speaking, extremely forgettable (you’re still at f’ing Pebble). The 17th points you back at the ocean, and the famous 18th brings you home along Stillwater Cove.

Another course straight off a postcard, Spyglass has the reputation as “Pebble’s Little Sister” (actually I just made this up, but it works). Diminutive like Pebble (listed at 6,858 yards) and much lesser known, it’s actually a very stern test with #8 and #16 considered two of the toughest holes on Tour. Possessing serious elevation changes, oddly shaped greens, and awkward uphill/downhill shots, all the while overlooking the Pacific Ocean, Spyglass camps out at the top of public course rankings. The last thing we’ll note is that the course sometimes borders a little bit on rinky-dink due to the shortness, shapes and forced iron play. Glass half-full, it’s shot-maker nirvana; glass half-empty, it’s the prettiest damn pitch and putt you’ll find.

MPCC was added to the tourney rotation in 2010, and has 

as the third site for the event. Stop me if you’ve heard this so far: it’s beautifully scenic, with ocean views, and short (6,838 yards). MPCC usually gets cut out of the broadcast for the most part, so there’s much we don’t really know about it. The front-nine is a funky little par-34 featuring three par-3s, so there is that. Unofficially, this seems to be the least favorite of the three among the tour players.

 a solid website which runs through the aforementioned courses, as well as other beauties in the area like Cypress and Pasatiempo (more on this below).

The tourney describes itself as ‘A Charitable Classic since 1937,’ when Bing Crosby “invited some friends to play golf, enjoy a clambake, and raise a little money for charity.” NLU Godfather Sam Snead won the inaugural Pro-Am in ’37, and legends have continued to raise what looks like a miniature, crystallized version of the CN Tower ever since:

Shortly after, Phil told Clint to ‘GET OFF MY LAWN’

 a little more corporate (then again what doesn’t, am I right?) what with the number of big-money, non-celeb amateurs in the field. Amazingly AT&T has maintained its lead sponsorship of the event since 1986–that and $0.50 will get you a cup of coffee!

Truth be told, even though the celebs overall border on C-list, it’s kinda cool the tournament has held on to its roots with the Hollywood folk sauntering around inside and outside the ropes. Their presence, along with the unrelenting gorgeous scenery, always puts everyone in good spirits and the vibe does hit ‘convivial clambake’ throughout the week, even if it’s meandered from Bing Crosby’s exclusive-based-on-coolness to exclusive-based-on-

. Pros here to grind won’t have fun. Amateurs here to grind should be shot.

I scrolled down the list of “celebrities,” and came up with the following analysis on the pairings:

J.J. Henry and Chris Berman – 1/1000 odds that Berman calls him “J.J. WAAAATTTT” at some point this week.

Jason Gore and Carson Daly – Cross Gore’s body type with Daly’s name and you literally get John Daly.

Kevin Na and Kenny G – Tell me we get a caddie bib that says “NA/G” on the back of it.

Bubba Watson and Mark Wahlberg – I can’t wait for Bubba to try to act cool around Marky Mark.

Ryan Moore and Josh Duhamel – I hope Duhamel tries to tell Moore that Tim Tebow is 

No Laying Up

Writing

What Does "Good for the Game" Even Mean?

Eye on CBS (an intervention)

2016 Northern Trust Open Preview

Scared Straight: A Lesson From the Ghosts of Mock Turtlenecks Past

The Definitive Guide to Choosing Your Favorite PGA Tour Pro

2016 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Preview

2016 Waste Management Preview

2016 Farmers Insurance Open Preview

January Mailbag, Part I

2016 Career Builder Challenge Preview

2016 Sony Open Preview

2016 Hyundai Tournament of Champions Preview

Winner of the 2015 Saucies

2015 Golf Tweets of the Year

Lacks Pop; Can't Play - The #LPCP Manifesto

The 2015 Saucies, the Finals

December Mailbag

The 2015 Saucies, The Final Four