Reed. Walker. Haas. Koepka. Day. 2015 has burst through the door like:

Ever heard of it? Widely known as (at minimum) one of the five best golf courses in the world, Pebble has played host to this tournament since 1947, as well as five U.S. Opens through the years. Measuring 6,816 yards, it’s the shortest track in the PGA Tour rotation and actually plays the easiest (in relation to par) of the three courses in the rota this week.

Get your picture in front of the ocean out of the way pre-round because there are birdies to be had from the get-go. The first eight holes are way gettable with two reachable par-5’s, as well as a potentially (depending on prevailing winds) driveable par-4 (#4). Holes 9 and 10 are brutal par-4’s along the ocean that can be really awkward for righties. Once the course routes inland, holes 11 through 16 are, relatively speaking, extremely forgettable (you’re still at f’ing Pebble). Then comes the picturesque, magnificent finishing hole. The par-5 18th is both beautiful…

…and gettable (with a real threat of calamity)…

Another course straight off a postcard, Spyglass has the reputation as “Pebble’s Little Sister” (actually I just made this up, but it works). Diminutive like Pebble (listed at 6,858 yards) and much lesser known, it’s actually a very stern test with #8 and #16 considered two of the toughest holes on Tour. Possessing serious elevation changes, oddly shaped greens, and awkward uphill/downhill shots, all the while overlooking the Pacific Ocean, Spyglass camps out at the top of public course rankings. The last thing we’ll note is that the course sometimes borders a little bit on rinky-dink due to the shortness, shapes and forced iron play. Glass half-full, it’s shot-maker nirvana; glass half-empty, it’s the prettiest damn pitch and putt you’ll find.

MPCC was added to the tourney rotation in 2010, and has 

as the third site for the event. Stop me if you’ve heard this so far: it’s beautifully scenic, with ocean views, and short (6,838 yards). MPCC usually gets cut out of the broadcast for the most part, so there’s much we don’t really know about it. The front-nine is a funky little par-34 featuring three par-3s, so there is that.

 a solid website which runs through the aforementioned courses, as well as other beauties in the area like Cypress and Pasatiempo (more on this below).

The tourney describes itself as ‘A Charitable Classic since 1937,’ when Bing Crosby “invited some friends to play golf, enjoy a clambake, and raise a little money for charity.” NLU Godfather Sam Snead won the inaugural Pro-Am in ’37, and legends have continued to raise what looks like a miniature, crystallized version of the CN Tower ever since:

Shortly after, Phil told Clint to ‘GET OFF MY LAWN’

 a little more corporate (then again what doesn’t, am I right?) what with the number of big-money, non-celeb amateurs in the field. Amazingly AT&T has maintained its lead sponsorship of the event since 1986–that and $0.50 will get you a cup of coffee!

Truth be told, even though the celebs overall border on C-list, it’s kinda cool the tournament has held on to its roots with the Hollywood folk sauntering around inside and outside the ropes. Their presence, along with the unrelenting gorgeous scenery, always puts everyone in good spirits and the vibe does hit ‘convivial clambake’ throughout the week, even if it’s meandered from Bing Crosby’s exclusive-based-on-coolness to exclusive-based-on-

. Pros here to grind won’t have fun. Amateurs here to grind should be shot.

Jimmy Walker held to win despite the fact that he played the last few holes with his hands gripped firmly around his own neck. A true horse for course, DJ almost ran him down from 9 shots back:

Bill Murray finally got his win here back in 2012 with D.A. Points. There is a 6% chance that Bill Murray actually knows who D.A. Points is.

Johnny Miller won here in 1994 at the age of 46. Expect to hear him mention this on the broadcast this weekend. Oh he’s not calling the event? See if that stops him…

Matt Gogel has still not recovered from Tiger running him down in 2000 to win his 6th consecutive tournament. (OK, he won the event two years later, but you know this still haunts him):

Overall, I’m not crazy about the lines this week. Vegas isn’t giving us shit to work with on the odds front for the favorites, and the field is decidedly top heavy. That being said, I’m a degenerate, so let’s play:

 – Horse for course. Top 16 in each of the last four years.

 – Top-10’s his last two starts here, three top-15’s in four starts. This is essentially his home. Strong showing at Torrey on a course that hardly fits his game. Extreme value here this week.

 – Just an itch this week, not sure why. He’s made his last several cuts, and only has one top 10 here, but I’m gonna scratch that itch.

 – T56 a year ago, but the three years prior he finished in the top 12, with two top 6’s. MC’d at tough Torrey, but T17 in Scottsdale. He loves these greens.

 – I file my annual Bryce Molder bet at Pebble right around the time I file my tax return. Top 12 in 4 of the last 5 years.

 – This is Tron’s pick. Loves him on short tracks.

 I’ve been remiss in including this section in recent weeks, and it’s bitten me. I rarely bet favorites that are below 20/1 because the payout when you bet multiple guys per week, yet hit a guy at 14/1 (like Day was last week), you’re looking at a pretty minimal profit. That being said, Day and Walker are absolutely primed this week at Pebble. I hate their odds, but they should be in your lineups. DJ loves it here, Spieth was great here last year, and Patrick Reed should be solid as well.

(Tracker: +51 units in 2015. Last week: +6 in the preview thanks to Tiger not making the cut, -1 in the twitter picks. )

Brian Williams thinks CBS has been off to a terrible start in 2015. For those of us hoping for a turnaround in television coverage, this is not the week. The Saturday CBS broadcast is the absolute worst of the entire year, as they spend more time schmoozing with celebs and fake celebs than a Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s marathon. The only way you’re going to survive this telecast is to drink whenever the following happens:

Jim Nantz tries to make it seem like he feels bad about the weather being shitty in your city while he looks at whales surfacing in the cove.

Your eyes bleed from Peter Kostis wasting his phenomenal talents on the Konica Minolta Bizhub Swing Vision Camera on a celebrity’s awful swing.

Kenny G’s fake 2-handicap pops up on screen. Or any fake handicap for that matter. Most of the amateurs in this event are titans of their industry, type-A’s to the core. Lopping off a stroke or six from their Index for appearances is standard operating procedure.

Chris Berman can’t get out of a greenside bunker. Or you see Chris Berman’s pit stains. Or just generally whenever Chris Berman is on camera—you’ll want to be as numb as possible.

A Dustin Johnson-Paulina Gretzky-Wayne Gretzky parallel is drawn and the palpable awkwardness hangs in the air.

CBS interviews an Entertainment-industry celeb you’ve never heard of.

An amateur clumsily attempts to pick up or scoop his ball green-side. Most of these peeps realize they have no business being alongside Pros and are walking on eggshells all week. Around the greens especially they’re trying to 1) stay the hell out of the way and 2) get the hell out of the way after they do have to hit their ball. For most of em this usually results in rushed, non-athletic moves to pocket their rock. Cheers to that!

You find yourself muttering, either silently or aloud, “why the hell is CBS showing [insert amateur’s name] 

You get The Itch and live north of the Mason-Dixon line. You’ll want to consume heavily knowing it’s early February and golf season is still at least a month and a half away.

The best part of this week for Fil and Tron is the presence of 

. These two Irish playboy billionaires have lived pretty incredible lives (check out their wiki links for full detail–we’ll hit the highlights below).

McManus (pictured on the right) made an early killing in the horse racing hustle, as both owner and wagerer. 

 He’s also a currency savant it seems, acquiring a sizable chunk of his billions trading FX from a small office in Geneva, Switzerland. 

 He’s also a large shareholder in Ladbrokes. 

 Not mentioned: obligatory run-ins with regulating bodies and questions surrounding certain business dealings. 

Desmond (pictured left) is basically McManus minus the penchant for ponies plus some badass lip foliage. He’s a wheeler and dealer across all business industries, his main profession making money. He has majority ownership of Celtic FC, while also having stakes in Casinos, Airports, and seemingly everything else. Like McManus, he’s crossed paths with governing agencies, a requisite for 

, as mentioned above, is one of the most underrated gems in the area, if not the country. The pictures don’t do this Alister MacKenzie masterpiece justice. This intricate design with lush rolling fairways just oozes class. I had a chance to play it four years ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. If you’re ever in the area, I can’t recommend it enough.

I’m travelling this week, so tune in to 

FYI on our previews: A lot of the stuff that applies to multiple years (course, vibe, etc.), you’re going to see some stuff that we’ve just rolled forward from last year’s preview (mostly Tron Carter’s work). Is this poor journalism? Absolutely. That’s why we aren’t actually journalists. Of course the picks section, and recent events will always be updated, but previews are hard to do, and there is no point in trying to recreate some of the stuff that we’ve already covered.

Check in with the NLU Gang all week on twitter whilst we do our usual hood-rat act: 

2015 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am Preview

If this doesn’t get you geeked up, I’m not sure what will (play this while you read – it sets the tone)….

Last year at this time, we were celebrating the return of the Big Cat. Now we’re mourning him, and welcoming Dustin Johnson back into the fold (your Dustin Johnson coke joke was never funny). Reports are that the rough is up, much like last year, which could cut into some of the fun. I’m also still hungover from Brooks Koepka’s huge win that we may have mentioned this week. Coming off two Horschel wins in September (and skipping over the Fall Series that doesn’t count), Patrick Reed’s win in Hawaii, and Koepka’s coming out party, I’m even more insufferable than normal. Let’s do this! (By the way, this is my effort level this week:)

The Farmers Insurance Open (San Diego Open for traditionalists) sprawls out across the North and South Courses at Torrey Pines on Thursday and Friday before settling on the much more difficult and defined South Course for the weekend. Torrey remains one of the most beautiful and scenic courses in the world, despite the fact both courses get over 92,000 (!) rounds per year each. The South is a big ballpark (think Petco Park) at 7,643 yards, while the easier North plays to a meager 6,874. Little known fact about the course is that it overlooks the 

 (the link is safe, no nudity). As fun as the Waste Management is, it’s manufactured track in the middle of a dessert, and man made stadium atmosphere lacks the authenticity of the breathtaking views of the shores of La Jolla.

The South Course famously played host to the 2008 US Open, Tiger’s one-legged triumph over Rocco, so it has a legacy to match the scneic views. Fresh off the last several weeks of avian genocide (birdies galore), it’s going to be a little weird seeing guys pumped to make par, especially on the weekend. The main scoring opportunities on the South Course are the four par-5’s, but measuring 560, 613, 541, and 572 yards, respectively, they possess plenty of girth and certainly aren’t auto-birdies.

The winning recipe is to get as fat as possible on the North Course, where the par-5’s are extremely vulnerable (listed at only 520, 548, 507, and 485 (!!!) yards, respectively) and the 326-yard, par-4 2nd played as the second-easiest par-4 on Tour last year. Then you strap up and go about your business on the South Course, constantly picking your spots and taking care not to make big numbers.

When the big guns come out, so do the galleries. CBS will sprinkle in the sights and sounds of SoCal at every turn (aforementioned hang-gliders galore, surfer bros/chicas wandering the premises stoned to the bejesus and decked out in their Billabong duds and hater-blocker sunglasses), making everyone wonder at least a few dozen times why the hell they don’t live in San Diego (where you could play Torrey South for $61 on weekdays as a City resident).

Trying to forget that Scott Stallings won this thing and cheated us out of a six man playoff. So just look at this GIF and let’s move on.

Once the tournament hits Saturday it becomes a veritable BSD ball-striking convention. Tiger has won the event seven times in fourteen starts, while Lefty has three wins in his career (though nobody likes to mention his last win came way back in 2001). More recently, in non-Tiger years, heavy-hitters like John Daly (’04), Nick Watney (’09), and Bubba Watson (’11) have captured the hardware, though Ben Crane (’10) and Brandt Snedeker (’12) have proven distance isn’t a definite requirement.

This event has been renamed 13 times! Notably, from 1968 to 1980 it was named the Andy Williams-San Diego Open Invitational. Still trying to figure out how a tournament can be an “invitational” but yet be “open”? It went on for 13 years under this title from 1968 to 1980.

Big Cat would be rolling in his grave if we didn’t show a highlight of his from Torrey. Listen to the crowd here. Have you ever heard anything like that on TV?

His odds keep shrinking but he keeps contending. I’m going to keep picking him.

Nope, odds still aren’t low enough. 2 more units on him this week. He’s going to win again this week. I’M SAYING IT. HE’S WINNING THE FARMERS.

 – Still on board despite a shaky weekend in Phoenix. Fatigue may be a factor, but Torry is great for a guy that stripes it the way he does.

 – Was in the hunt here last year until he derailed on the back 9. MC at Phoenix last week, but top 5’d two weeks prior to that. Big boy ball park here, and he’s a big boy.

 – T10 here last year, and T15 last week in Phoenix. I feel like he could win an event this year.

 – Tron is on this one, so I’ll ride it.

EDIT (pre-tourney) – 8 units on Tiger +150 to MISS the cut. I would make it more, but this line just seems like one of those “this is way too obvious, what does Vegas know that I don’t know” lines, but I cannot picture Cat making the cut this week.

I don’t have a hot take on Big Cat. A lot is being made of the chipping, but we should be making a lot about the chipping. This is an epidemic! I’ve never seen a pro hit 5 hideous chips in a two tournament span, much less hit approximately 15. And this is Tiger Woods! Also, remember when the 

@GCTigerTracker tried to tell us he bladed this chip on purpose

I’m expecting DJ to be in form right away, and he’s going to have a big year. The majors set up real well for him this year, and I honestly think he’ll be as refocused as much as his brain allows him to be.

Let’s hope CBS bounces back from the abomination that was the final round of the Waste Management. I saw more swings from Larry Fitzgerald than I did from Brooks Koepka on the back nine until he got to #16 in the lead. Jordan Spieth could have been carrying an AK47 on his march up the leaderboard and CBS wouldn’t have cut away commercial break. We know the AT&T is the worst broadcast of the year, but let’s hope this week Nantz and company show golf this weekend.

2015 Farmers Insurance Open Preview

You need to read Shane Ryan’s piece on Patrick Reed

. I’m not making this post to drive our traffic. I’m making this because just tweeting the link to this story does not do it justice. If you want to see the difference between actual writers and blogger guys like me, 

. I may link it 50 times in this post. I’m going to highlight some of the best parts below, but don’t let that be a substitute to you actually reading the piece.

Kicked off the golf team at Georgia for a variety of reasons

Suspended at Augusta State for cheating in an actual event (!)

Allegedly stole from the Georgia locker room

Hated by his teammates at both Augusta State and Georgia

Estranged from his parents for undisclosed reasons

“From the time he was very young, Reed brought an unusual focus to the sport, right down to the smallest details. When he was ten, he stopped wearing shorts on the golf course, both in competitive tournaments and range rounds, because he saw that the pros had to wear pants. In the brutal heat of midsummer, he’d be the only kid at a tournament in khakis, and even when he came close to passing out, he’d never succumb.”

“That same fall, several items went missing from the Georgia locker room, including a watch, a Scotty Cameron putter, and $400 cash. When Reed showed up the next day with a large wad of cash, a teammate confronted him and asked how he’d come by the money. Reed said he’d played golf with a professor at the school and hustled him out of the cash. The player in question took this claim to the professor, who had no idea what he was talking about—it had been weeks since the man had played with Reed.”

“The news trickled around the Georgia golf community, though, and the cause of the suspension—confirmed by multiple sources—didn’t surprise the teammates who knew him back in Athens: Cheating in a qualifying event.

In 2011, he stopped hanging out with his teammates off the golf course completely. He also stopped cheating, and he was slightly more cordial with his teammates, but when I asked multiple sources whether this meant they actually liked him, the response was unanimous: Hell no.”

“Before the last round of his college career, in the national championship against Harris English, a group of Reed’s Augusta State teammates approached English—one of the most well-liked, easygoing players in the sport—with an emphatic message:

‘We want to win the national title, but we hope you kick the shit out of Patrick Reed.'”

Read it. Read the piece. In case you missed the two links above, here’s five more.

Patrick Reed: Golf's Greatest Villain

A collection of the best golf tweets for the month of January:

 Shouldn’t letting a kid stand here when Webb is about to play be considered child endangerment? 

Jimmy Walker just went so far left that Mark Rolfing can't even describe the area. 

I said nice shot to a guy hitting by me on the range, and he said, "your voice sounds a lot like Morgan Pressel's" 

 put a sleeve of Chrome Softs under every seat. Announce it before he tees off.



— Ryan Ballengee (@RyanBallengee) 

4 years later, Rory finally finds his ball on 10. (via @HSBC_Golf) 





— Two Inches Short (@TwoInchesShort) 

Asking Patrick Reed about his confidence level is getting into trolling area, Sands. You had that one in the holster!



— Shane Bacon (@shanebacon) 

Say it's just you and Rory. SAY IT, PATTY!



— Kyle Porter (@KylePorterCBS) 

https://twitter.com/GillamTweets/status/554795859305435137

. The look away club slam after Bae splits the fairway. 

 Basically Tour Sauce 101. Class is in session 

 the entourage with backpacks watching silently as you putt 





— Carl Schimenti (@Carl_Schimenti) 

Takeaways from Tiger's presser: He was in a really good mood, he looks slimmed down, he is still lying about his tooth.



— Trevor Reaske (@TrevorReaske) 

Love watching The Big Break when dudes are like "Will I ever be the best player in the world? We'll never know." Actually, I think we know.



— Kevin Van Valkenburg (@KVanValkenburg) 

The amateur playing in Reed-Kuchar group just made natural eagles on both back-9 par 5s at PGA West. He'll be drug tested after the round.



— Ryan Lavner (@RyanLavnerGC) 

Webb Simpson currently texting the organizers of the Humana Challenge to get himself declared the winner instead of Bill Haas.



— Shane Ryan (@ShaneRyanHere) 

Solid one handed follow through into directional point 

 from the random guy we were paired with last week 





— One Putt Blunder (@oneputtblunder) 

https://twitter.com/dillonmays_/status/559196855490605056

With a name and pic like this you boys know who to pick first 

 most serious golfer. Seriously. He demands you take him seriously. cc 

 tour sauce from the show director?



— Tyler Williams (@therealtdiddy) 

"Hahaha" = I'm actually laughing out loud. "Haha" = Expressionless; I don't know how else to reply. "Ha" = I'm actually angry.



— Ashley Mayo (@AshleyKMayo) 

My friends in Brooklyn are already over this week's blizzard; more concerned with heat wave in June at this point



— jerry (@NomDeJer) 

January Golf Tweets of the Month

The Big Feline is back! Joined by Gerry, Rickie, Spieth, Koepka, Phil, Horschel, Matsuyama, and many more, it finally feels like the PGA Tour season is officially starting. Can you believe this commercial is six years old? Well yeah, there’s a plethora of Justin Leonard and Stewart Cink appearances.

Get yer’ shotguns, it’s another week of target practice out in the desert! TPC Scottsdale has been renovated, with 

The course, outside of holes 15 through 17, is completely forgettable. But these three holes, under tournament conditions especially, are pretty cool. #15 is an NLU-endorsed, completely reachable par-5 which presents some risk due to water all down the left side, as well as loosely surrounding the green. #16 is wholly unremarkable under normal conditions, but transforms to a crucible of nerves and excitement (more on this in a second) this week. Finally, #17 may be one of the most underrated holes on Tour. It’s a true risk-reward par-4, playing 332 yards on the card but often shorter in competition. There’s water just off the green left and long, forcing most guys to bail short and right. But be on the look out for the handful of Aces challenging the flag, especially the back/left location nearest the hazard–these guys deserve our utmost respect and admiration.

The 18th hole has been a criminally nondescript par-4 with a pond that’s not really in play off the tee. In fact, prudent strategy the last few years is to just bomb Driver as far as possible in the general direction of the hole, taking the hazard out of play, and getting a free drop from the grandstands if need be. It’s an anti-climatic end to a strong finishing stretch of holes, not to mention the tourney in general.

We’re all about fun here. So naturally, you would think we’d be all over the most fun hole in golf. But we also like to hate on things, and while the 16th hole is awesome, it’s not what it once was. We touched on Tiger’s return there 

Before: Just a bunch of people hanging out and day drinking

This is an issue that hits close to home. The 16th hole is far and away one of the coolest places to enjoy golf. It has nothing to do with the hole itself and everything to do with the atmosphere. It’s the epicenter of the week’s debauchery. Imagine the 16th like your favorite bar, on the best night of the year, with an amazing crowd of friends, gorgeous scenery, prime people-watching opportunities, and a collective BAC that’s closer to ‘coma’ than ‘legal.’ However, the last few years there’s been a steady, corporate gentrification of the hole. We’re seeing the displacement of hundreds of frat bro’s and sorostitutes from the hill behind the right side of the green, shrinking public bleachers down the left side (taking away the vantage of the 15th green–some of the best people AND golf watching opportunities from the top of that grandstand), and an influx of corporate boxes/grandstands now completely surrounding the hole and squeezing Joe Fan out.

Look at the how the hole has transformed just within the last few years, from more public-friendly:

At some point enough’s enough, and the resplendent plebeian chants of “corporate sucks!” will fall silent, as there aren’t any more plebeians. Very rarely do we get all populist around here, but in this case we feel obligated. If the T-Birds aren’t careful, we’ll have the equivalent of a Coliseum chock full of Senators and Patricians munching on grapes and attempting to refine the bacchanal proceedings unfolding before them. Unacceptable. Never forget 

the 16th hole is the 16th: it was a place anyone could chill while enjoying some pops, catching some rays, and talking a little junk.

We’ll have more on this later this week.

Normally we tuck this section into the nether-reaches of the column, but not this week. This tournament is ALL vibe. It’s style over substance, except the style is really goddamn substantive. For years now there have been countless pieces attempting to capture the atmosphere, so we’ll save our breath and boil it down like this: fake blondes, haterblockers, day-drinking, fake blondes, high heels at a golf tournament LOLZ, day-drinking, fake boobs, cut-offs and tribal ink, ASU co-eds, sunshine, mountains, fake blondes, day-drinking, a spirited mix of Ed Hardy apparel and exclusive golf-club-logo duds, fake boobs, more haterblockers, day-drinking, fake blondes, and last but not least, day-drinking.

Think of the average dude who shows up for the tournament as Trapster or “The Sack” from 

 The average female pretty much ranges from naturally gorgeous to artificially-enhanced gorgeous. In a nutshell, the week is exceedingly fun, chill as hell, and actually conducive to a wide range of interests (e.g. drinking, posting, styling, bronzing, gambling, heckling, and even spectating).

A big chunk of credit for the vibe goes to the tournament organizers and hosts; the all-male, civic organization of Phoenix dubbed, ‘The Thunderbirds.’

Golf-charity Illuminati, the T-birds purposely shroud themselves in mystery, which is way too okay with us. You’ll see these guys patrolling the grounds, dressed in the most spectacularly ostentatious threads–indigo, plush-velvet blouse tops, aggressive belt buckles, and pseudo-Jesus-pieces hanging low and loud. Really, it’s perfect. It’s exactly how I want my mysterious, fraternal, civic-minded organizations to front. So many questions, so much confusion.

Started way back in 1937, the Thunderbirds have strict membership bylaws. First off, like any self-respecting secret order, you don’t find them, they find you (a public directory of Thunderbirds does not exist). At any time, there are only 55 ‘active’ members, and to join the flock, one has to be nominated by at least two actives. Further, like the best part of fraternity bid night, nominated members must be unanimously voted in by the group. Black balls are in play, y’all!

Interestingly, active members have to be 45 years old or younger. Old and comfortable need not apply, the T-birds are young and hungry! Once an active crosses the age-45 threshold, they transition (we’ll guess through some sort of lurid ceremony) to ‘lifetime’ member. These lifetime members still help out with proceedings at the WM Open and other initiatives, just realize they aren’t calling the shots.

The most incredible part of the Thunderbird group is their election of a leader, a self-glossed, ‘Big Chief.’ Oh. Hell. Yes!

The current Big Chief is a go-hard named Tom King.

The last thing we’ll say, and with utmost certainty, is these guys know how to play host to a hell of a party. The atmosphere around the Phoenix Open may not necessarily be their doing, per-se, but their public-service mission has evolved into a municipally-decreed week-long rager – cool with us. A big NLU-salute to all the Thunderbirds, whoever the hell you are.

Lastly, while most will pay homage to the 

, we’ll refrain. We view it as an affront and diversion to the day-drinking, and an overcrowded, over-hyped after-party spot. Post golf, go clean up, grab a choice cut of meat and bottle(s) of wine, and hunt big game in its natural habitat around Scottsdale/Phoenix.

Has it really been three years since Kyle F’n Stanley won this thing?

 – T4 here last year, and opened the season in Hawaii with a 3rd place finish.

Open track that celebrates length. Let the big man eat.

Threatened last week, would have thought the odds would have been shorter.

On Friday afternoon the guys on CBS will reference “a course up north of here” where certain guys who played in the morning went to practice. That place is Whisper Rock and we at NLU hold this place in similar esteem to how Muslims view Mecca. Besides having arguably the most talented golfing membership anywhere, 

Billy Mayfair’s YOTTO trophy from ’95

 is kept on premises in the clubhouse at TPC Scottsdale (much like the Heisman Trophy at respective winners’ campuses). Oh wait, there isn’t a YOTTO trophy. Damnit.

The pot in 1997 was $1,500,000. In 1999, it was $3,000,000, but probably because suits starting making it rain on 16 when Tiger made the ace.

I know how shocking it is for us to fall in love with a young American with huge swing speed, insane distance, and oodles of #TourSauce, but just let me say again how head over heels I am for Justin Thomas. Many were calling for this guy as a breakout star, but you also hear so many names as potential sleepers that you tend to lose track as to who is who. This weekend was my first look at him, and he’s going to fit in quite well with the NLU gang. If his 2 iron off of 16 doesn’t go 275 yards into a bunker, and the double bogey that followed, he probably wins that event, and we’d be looking at him in an “Is he the next Spieth? My Column:” way. Expect us to be equally annoying about him going forward as we usually are.

2015 Waste Management Phoenix Open Preview

Humana Challenge. Just doesn’t have much ring to it. While it’s certainly understandable that the organizers wanted to inject some new life (and funding) into this event, for many it will always be the Bob Hope Classic. In the years since his passing this tournament has struggled to find it’s footing, so it made sense on a lot of levels to bring Bill Clinton into the fold a few years ago and add some cache to the event. Clinton actually played the event as a SITTING PRESIDENT in 1995 along with Gerald Ford and George Bush version 1.0. (Holy Secret Service nightmare!)

After altering the format from five rounds to four a few years ago (and 

 George Lopez in the process), the Tour is FINALLY abandoning the celebrity format (if you could even call them that). It was one thing when you had legends like Sinatra, Bing Crosby and Ike Eisenhower teeing it up on a yearly basis, but these days one annual celebrity pro-am is more than enough (no thanks on the six hour rounds and cloying television coverage). However, instead of doing away with the Pro-Am format altogether, Finchy opted to keep the corporate money flowing and allow wealthy white dudes to still buy their way in. We see you working, Boss Man!

It’s really not necessary to do a deep-dive on the courses this week; they’re hilarious resort courses and are the equivalent of setting up a sporting clay’s course in an 

 (which, ironically, these tracks are). Picture the exact opposite of The Open Championship rota and that’s what the Coachella Valley offers – a variety of perfectly manicured tracks in the birthplace of target golf and water-management 

. This year’s trio features two PGA West courses (Palmer Private and Nicklaus Private) and La Quinta Country Club. All three courses are short, have nothing resembling rough, and perfect greens. Birdie bonanza.

Guarantees: perfect weather; a smattering of cougars in the gallery; some uber-bro’s who made the trip over from L.A.; Golf Channel force-feeding health tips down viewer’s throats (as a condition of the Humana sponsorship) and talking incessantly about how fit Bill Clinton looks. Overall, this is an event caught between a glorious past and a cloudy future. If the tour ever rigs an event, this might be the one.

Brace yourself: Johnny Miller shot a final round 63 to win this event in ’76. He’ll mention it at a time that is completely unnecessary.

Corey Pavin won this event twice, and as was the case at the Hawaiian Open, attempted to rename it the “

 Open.” Come to think of it, Pavin won the same event twice five different times (Honolulu, Los Angeles, Houston, Colonial, and Milwaukee (RIP)). Pretty remarkable. And he lost Hartford in a playoff twice. Shit, he went to a playoff nine times in his career, going 5-4 with all four losses coming at the hands of an opponent’s birdie. Hat’s off to Corey Pavin (seriously).

 in 1999 to win by one stroke. Take a minute or two today to appreciate that feat. Who’d he beat? The ‘Volcano,’ Steve Pate!

Finally, it’s great to see former champ Peter Jacobsen playing this week. He’ll bring some good mojo.

Brief this week. Not keen on betting on these events with multiple courses, as they’re just too many variables, but here are 3 guys that stuck out to me:

 – T6 last week at the Sony, and could feast on these easy tracks.

) – Bomber that I’ve been waiting to start betting on. Web.com Tour success could pay off in a birdie fest.

 – I’ve got a Langley itch that needs scratched. He’s going to get bet on short courses all year long.

I find it curious there are six courses at PGA West and they don’t even play the tourney on the best one. Here’s 

. Would be interesting to see a return to the Stadium course one of these years. I say you replace the Nicklaus Private course with this one and keep Palmer Private and LaQuinta so the players get totally mind-fucked the one round they play on Stadium. Guys are shooting 63’s over at the other two and 73’s at Stadium.

2015 Humana Challenge Preview

The season is off to a hot start, so let’s get caught up on some correspondence.

 your best guess of what happens at 16 if Tiger makes another ace. Both his and crowds reaction



— Ryan (@spartygrad) 

First, I’m legitimately excited for Golf Channel’s wall to wall coverage of the moment leading up to Big Cat’s walk through the tunnel on 16 at TPC Scottsdale. They are going to approach this the same way the Secret Service conducts a presidential motorcade. There’s going to be spotters with earpieces in, scoping out the pace of play in order to estimate what time Tiger is going to be arriving at 16 (“Big Feline is on the move”), and they are going to be updating you with a time estimate on the broadcast about every half an hour. As he approaches the tunnel, the announcers will go silent and let the crowd noise take over, and will treat it as if we are truly witnessing golf history. The crowd is going to go absolutely ape shit. Here’s how I wish Tiger would walk out:

I’m anticipating it being pretty painfully awkward. Remember, Tiger is not cool, and he thinks he is. That’s a dangerous combination. But if he makes an ace, there’s going to be wildfires spread across the entire state of Arizona. I was there at the Memorial in 2012 

. People were SPRINTING around high fiving each other after this shot (mostly whiffing on the high fives of course). I knew that Tiger had a lot of fans (hot take), but it was at that moment that I realized how many people out there still truly 

 him. If he recreates the famous ace from 1999, the fans are going to chuck every piece of swag that has been thrown courteously passed in their direction, along with every full and empty beer cup they’ve been accumulating since the sun came up. Then they’re going to start disassembling the corporate boxes (another attempt to ruin the fun on 16) piece by piece, take the wood pieces, stack them on the 16th green and start 

The Greatest Fire the Southwest Has Ever Seen

. A helicopter is going to have to Life Flight the Big Cat from the mosh pit on what used to be the 16th green to the 17th tee. Tiger will give as big of a fist pump as his body will let him, and then he’s going to realize what is coming for him:

I’m going to say Poulter. We know the odds of him posting a selfie of us trapped in the elevator are 1/100 (Edit: they were just taken off the board in Vegas), and there’s a chance that I could photobomb it (let’s be honest, he’s taking the picture of himself… he probably won’t even notice I’m in the elevator).

 terrible of a person, but just has a truly laudable lack of self awareness to the point that it actually deserves admiration. We get it man. You’re rich. You don’t need to live tweet your tour of the Ferrari factory, your first class flight, and the caviar you’re chowing on from 35,000 feet (and all of these things happened within a two day span). It just makes me mind numbingly frustrated to see a level of self-absorbency unbeknownst to man kind since Narcissus himself go without comment. And I would take this opportunity to call him out on it. Does he not notice that other humans do not act this way? The worst part is that there is a large contigent of fans that actually eat this stuff up, and encourage him on it.

I actually judge Poulter for how long it took him to block me on twitter, but it really was just too easy to call him on his bullshit. I’m counting on you guys to keep me updated when he’s blowing up your feed with selfies of him pimping his book from the throne of his golden Ferrari engraved shitter.

 three people on Twitter you want to follow the NLU account most..



— Kyle Porter (@KylePorterCBS) 

As of a few days ago, there’s a name that would have been on this list, but no longer qualifies (welcome aboard, 

). Rory and Tiger are easy and too obvious of answers, so I’m just gonna skip them for the purpose of this exercise. I’m also gonna skip the LeBron, Kobe, Taylor Swift contingent, and all other golfers as well.

 were the main inspiration behind the foundation of this site. They showed the college football world that you can have fun talking college football by saying the most off the wall shit, while still being able to back it up with some semblance of knowledge on the subject at hand. This is also perhaps the most entertaining twitter account out there.

 – One of the few TV guys at ESPN that manages to keep it real. He’s been at it for a long time, but not once has his act ever seemed tired, has he ever done something just for the attention, or ever been involved in any legitimate controversy. He just tells it like it is, without ever using awful cliches such as “he just tells it like it is.”

 – I’m late to the party here, but my favorite new follow of 2014. A satirical account that pokes fun at the absolute hottest of hot takes, yet somehow does not ever get old reading. To produce this kind of material on a day by day basis has to be a grind, and I have the utmost respect for it.

 in terms of courses/venues, is the WC swing the best stretch on the schedule? fav tournament on WC swing?



— Brendan Porath (@BrendanPorath) 

A serious golf question? Wow Porath, I bet you’re fun at parties….

Moving the Waste Management No Fun Phoenix Open in front of the Farmers Insurance Open now gives us the best four week stretch of tracks we see all year on the tour (the WMPO may be the best party of the year, but TPC Scottsdale is a pretty boring track). The stretch of Torrey-Pebble-Riv-PGA National surpasses runner up Harding Park-Sawgrass-Quail Hollow-Colonial by about 17 miles. In looking in detail at the schedule, seemingly every intriguing stretch is bombed by a TPC Southwind grenade, which makes this stretch the most unique on tour.

My favorite tournament on the Best Coast Swing is the Northern Trust Open. It’s celestial golf at its absolute finest. Torrey is a solid track, but might be a tad overrated. The venues for the Pebble Beach Pro-Am are phenomenal, but it’s perhaps the worst PGA Tour event on TV for real golf fans because we get bombarded with Chris Berman’s sweat, and Ray Romano’s attempts at humor, and Jim Nantz’s acting like he cares about these celebrity’s golf games (his best acting performance since his 

Watching Bubba contaminate the blessed grounds of Hogan’s Alley damaged me last year, but there’s a reason Riviera is is in the NLU hall of fame. I was lucky enough to play there six years ago, and it remains in my top 3 of all places that I’ve sprayed my #TourSauce. It’s a true ball striker’s paradise, and is the true class of the West Coast Swing.

 What could be the next greatest invention for golf broadcasts after the ProTracer?



— Erik Hoops (@ehoops) 

The #PrayForTedScott Meter! Seriously, a little graphic in the corner to at least give us a warning of when Bubba is up to his usual antics, and to track whether our prayers for Ted have been answered. Now we’re reliant on the twitter hashtag for the latest updates, which is just another example of the 2nd screen taking over the viewing of a sporting event. Get on board, Golf Channel! Give the people what they want! If something happens to Ted, then the blood is going to be on your hands.

 Who wins more majors when it's all said and done: Rory and Phil combined or Tiger?



— Ben Hietanen (@foryourbenefit) 

I usually don’t like the standard “how many majors” question, but this one has an interesting twist, as there are several questions within the question. The first is whether Tiger is done winning majors (I say no). Next, is Phil done winning majors (I say no). Last, of course, is how many more majors will Rory win. Let’s say Tiger finishes with 16 majors, and Phil with 6. Do I think Rory wins 11 majors? I can’t say yes with a straight face. That would tie him with Walter Hagen for 3rd all time! With the depth of today’s fields, if I were to bet an over/under of 7 more majors for Rory, my brain would have to say that he’ll win less than that.

As of now, Rory is 6/1 to win the Masters. The math would tell you that his actual odds of winning the event are less than 1 in 6, but I wouldn’t know how to calculate what his, so let’s just assume its 1 in 6. I think we can agree that what we see right now is pretty much Peak Rory, and based on the math we’re using here, it would mean that to win 8 more majors, it would take him 12 years. And that’s assuming he stays at this current pace! It all seems easy for Rory now, but we’re a year removed from wondering if Rory was a complete fluke. What if he has some health problems? Did I throw enough cold water on this yet? Want me to ruin anything else before the end of this mailbag?

NLU January Mailbag

The Sony Open is the first event in 2015 to feature a full field, which kinda gives the feel of this week being Caddie Day at the Bushwood Country Club pool following the posh exclusivity of the Hyundai. Even so, there are still several top names playing this week, as well as some NLU favorites.

Kapalua’s wide fairways, severe elevation changes, and relatively modern design are nowhere to be found on Waialae’s classic Seth Raynor layout, which plays to a modest (at least by Tour standards) 7,088 yards. A refreshing change from the “bomb & gouge” tracks so prevalent throughout the year, the premium is instead on accuracy and being able to flight the ball through the trade winds. By all accounts, tour players seem to enjoy this course and the consensus suggests it’s an underrated track (although that could be skewed with the players sampled being, by and large, those who enjoy and/or are well-suited to this type of test; surely the bomber contingent has a different view and thus quite a few stay away).

At NLU, our first glance at any scorecard is to answer two questions: 1) How gettable are the par-5’s? and 2) Are there any even remotely reachable par-4’s? Judging by this standard, Waialae disappoints as it features just two par-5’s and only one par-4 that is close to the realm of being gettable (#10 plays downwind 350 yards but the green is well-guarded). This disappointment is quickly washed away by the fact it’s unlikely ANYONE in the field will be forced to lay up on either par-5 – they’re the easiest set of par-5’s on Tour (#9 is 510 yards – that’s a long par-4). Interestingly, #1 and #13 were formerly par-5’s until John Huston waged war on the bird sanctuary here back in ’98 (causing them to Huston-proof the course – more on that later).

These days, the first hole is one of the most bossy opening holes on Tour, a 488 yard par-4 incorporating elements of the road hole at St. Andrews – it’s a STRONG start. May we suggest PGATour.com put a live feed of this hole for the week and and dub it, “The Snuff Film?” Overall, not a typical No Laying Up style track, but there is fun to be had. It just all comes down to how hard the wind blows.

Think standard, nondescript early 1990’s event – pretty much a bunch of retired white men milling about, relatively sparsely attended (under 50,000). Bottom-line: the Tommy Bahama clique will be out in full force, with the Golf Channel schwaldo’s following suit. Golf Channel will play up the Hawaiian vibe with music, surfer backgrounds and Waikiki Beach jokes. Even if you don’t like golf, just tune in for a televised respite from the shitty weather that’s making you SAD right now. Overall, there’s some good stuff going on here but it’s too basic to be overly hilarious.

Little known fact: The 1998 United Airlines Hawaiian Open was won by John Huston. Dude went 28 deep, causing uproar among environmentalists and local homeowners over the sheer number of birds slaughtered during that year’s event. The negative publicity caused United to pull out and Sony signed on, but with a caveat: the membership redesigned the course during the off-season (the next year Jeff Sluman emerged as champion with a heavily toned-down winning score of -9. Coincidence? You be the judge). The Oahu avian population rebounded nicely post 1998 atrocities, for those who are wondering.

No Laying Up

Writing

2015 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am Preview

2015 Farmers Insurance Open Preview

Patrick Reed: Golf's Greatest Villain

January Golf Tweets of the Month

2015 Waste Management Phoenix Open Preview

2015 Humana Challenge Preview

NLU January Mailbag

2015 Sony Open Preview

2015 Hyundai Tournament of Champions Recap

2014 Drama, Controversies, Feuds, and Rumors

2015 Hyundai Tournament of Champions Preview

The Winner of the 2014 #Saucies

The #Saucies: 2014 #TourSauce of the Year: The Finals

How Bubba Stole Christmas

The #Saucies: 2014 #TourSauce of the Year: The Final Four

NLU December Mailbag

The #Saucies: 2014 #TourSauce of the Year: Elite 8

Tiger's New But Old Swing